This is all about me being anxious

Have you ever gone through a hard night with a nauseated feeling in your stomach which caused by irregular meals and bed times and there is a certain reason for you not to feel like to keep up with regularity. That’s usually because of something really bad is happening in your life and you cannot get over with , starting to rot deep down in your heart, and that’s the reason I bring it up this time. (Right now I feel awful because I was accused of being a writer who cannot make much sense about Something I wrote the other day. I think about it as I really should be worried about this matter since my profession requires a friendly and insightful writing style which can both appeal and impress clients, to make yourself heard in the most effective way. I read an article about American writing style written for international student at Columbia Graduate School of Journalism, it’s helpful though, people who have the same issue can spare 10 minutes after meal on this article. I don’t want to bother myself to make a summary about this article right now since it should be painstaking for me. Somehow, I just want to try to write a light article about my life in this writing manner. So don’t judge, just have fun reading.)

I also did it since my boyfriend said he was leaving me for something I did wrong to him no matter how regretful I felt. That might be me not taking him seriously and most of the horrible feeling coming from self blame and guilt. In order to convince him that I’m not such a selfish and narcissistic whatchamacallit and also keep my self esteem, I choose my best wingman– social media tool, to help me know whether someone is watching me once in a blue moon and of course, this time the I tried to angle my ex. This friend helped! Cuz I know some people cannot keep themselves away from what they are caring about, and all it takes is one click in front of a computer screen. I had very mixed feelings back then and I hate myself being like that, withholding negative feelings about myself and thinking strategy to back out of this desperate situation. What I really need at this time, is relax at the moment and try not to think about any thing that can drive you nuts. Keep your pace and don’t panic. Things happened and it just needs to be fixed.

Here I said it, I guess I did put too much feelings on where I can probably be judged. 23 is an age for confusion. It’s when you want to draw a line between you and juveniles and also get excluded by older adults. Especially when you move to a total different country, this might get worse. Judgements will not stop coming. Well, if I can say hello to those judgements, why should I feel so much about a singular one and let it keep me away from sanity.

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